Monday, December 11, 2006
We are but modes.
I feel like I'm staring at a blank page. Even blah-blahing on my blog seems stressful. Yes, it's that end of term feeling, this time however there is no freedom at the end. Apart from one mega party. Then it's carrying on with the work over Christmas. That 9-5.30 bookshop job seems more and more tempting. But I must prove myself more than that. Not that that is rubbish. I love working in a bookshop. It's just society expectations. Strange. I guess it's more expectations on myself. My 'shrink' once said that I fear success more than I fear failure. This is incorrect, silly person. It's just the work I have to do to get there that I fear.
Anyway, enough pschoanalysis, lets see what I've been doing since last we met. Erm......yeh.
I've written down a list. It's here in front of me. It says...
Choir concert x2
Essay
Script Editor's Notes
Episode Drama
One hour script.
Elaborate shall I? If I must...
Choir concert.....
Forget that, Dan just did his impression of someone having swallowed an apple. Score.
Ok... Yes I had a couple of solos recently. And got some coming up too on Tuesday Carol thingy. The first one went terribly, and it wasnt my fault, I swear guv. It was the scholar's reception and STOP PRESS>>>>>> A PUN IS COMING>>>>>>>>IS IT A PUN??? SWPNIL CONTESTS>>>>>>WELL A (S)HIT JOKE IS COMING>>>>>>>> P-D-PAEDOPHILE.
...it was the scholar's receptions and (by the way, are you enjoying the non-linear structure to this blog? I sure as hell am)
...it was the scholar's reception and (it's almost like tristram shandy, but better i'd say. only problem is is that I don't have a big reveal that would make this super build up appropriate....shame)
...it was the scholar's reception and (i'm wondering how far I can push it before I become absorbed in the joke circle. I shall become trapped. "Oh I see your point?", "Why, have my trousers fallen down? No they're not, they're up, I can see they're up! OH! I see your point!", "Why have my trousers fallen down? No they haven't, they're up, I can see they're up! OH, I see your point!"..."Why, have my trousers fallen down.......etc ad nauseum...)
...it was the scholar's reception and most of the people there were not at all interested in the 'background music' (YES! I carried on without any parenthetical comment! oh)
...it was the scholar's reception and do you know what, i'm not interested in this anecdote anymore.
Welcome to the world of anticlimax. Paddy has a great joke about an anticlimax. He built it up refusing to say it then when he said the punchline about it being an anticlimax it was an anticlimax. That to me was the true beauty.
Anyway after the disastrous disgrace and disappointment of the scholar's reception (yes, you wish you knew what happened, but you shall never know). Yes, after that there was another lunchtime concert which, although the turn out was pretty shoddy, the people that were there enjoyed it and everyone did really well. Including me. Yeh, I didn't screw it up with nerves. I found that staring some woman out in the back row helped. I imagined that I loved her and that I was serenading her with the song. Unfortunately once the concert had finished, I got so wound up with this notion that I accidentally went home with her and we made love.*
ESSAY is the next thing on my list. I didn't leave it to the last minute. YEH, check me out. However, I do think that I may not have done very well on it. I just have a bad feeling. Please prove me wrong.
Dan is feeling strangled. I know how he feels. Strangled. I'm not being metaphorical here, simply...imagine being strangled. Are you imagining it? That's how he feels. And I managed to understand him using my brain and empathy skills.
The thing that seems to be taking over my life at the moment is the Episode Drama. We are having meetings galore, and we get the impression it's all coming together beautifully, then we have a seminar with our tutor and she concurs, but points out one major flaw and we have to change it rather a lot. But hey, it's all a learning curve.
The last seminar was hilarious. We had a bit of a meeting beforehand then Karen came in for the seminar, and we forget to behave in a more appropriate manner. Grant forgot to stop cracking shit jokes and Emma forgot to stop shouting in her brawl. It was hilarious and Karen looked shocked and amused in equal measures.
I'm not really reflecting all that much, so I think I should bid you farewell til my mind is more focused and I'm not just babbling.
Sophie x
*this may or may not be true.
Anyway, enough pschoanalysis, lets see what I've been doing since last we met. Erm......yeh.
I've written down a list. It's here in front of me. It says...
Choir concert x2
Essay
Script Editor's Notes
Episode Drama
One hour script.
Elaborate shall I? If I must...
Choir concert.....
Forget that, Dan just did his impression of someone having swallowed an apple. Score.
Ok... Yes I had a couple of solos recently. And got some coming up too on Tuesday Carol thingy. The first one went terribly, and it wasnt my fault, I swear guv. It was the scholar's reception and STOP PRESS>>>>>> A PUN IS COMING>>>>>>>>IS IT A PUN??? SWPNIL CONTESTS>>>>>>WELL A (S)HIT JOKE IS COMING>>>>>>>> P-D-PAEDOPHILE.
...it was the scholar's receptions and (by the way, are you enjoying the non-linear structure to this blog? I sure as hell am)
...it was the scholar's reception and (it's almost like tristram shandy, but better i'd say. only problem is is that I don't have a big reveal that would make this super build up appropriate....shame)
...it was the scholar's reception and (i'm wondering how far I can push it before I become absorbed in the joke circle. I shall become trapped. "Oh I see your point?", "Why, have my trousers fallen down? No they're not, they're up, I can see they're up! OH! I see your point!", "Why have my trousers fallen down? No they haven't, they're up, I can see they're up! OH, I see your point!"..."Why, have my trousers fallen down.......etc ad nauseum...)
...it was the scholar's reception and most of the people there were not at all interested in the 'background music' (YES! I carried on without any parenthetical comment! oh)
...it was the scholar's reception and do you know what, i'm not interested in this anecdote anymore.
Welcome to the world of anticlimax. Paddy has a great joke about an anticlimax. He built it up refusing to say it then when he said the punchline about it being an anticlimax it was an anticlimax. That to me was the true beauty.
Anyway after the disastrous disgrace and disappointment of the scholar's reception (yes, you wish you knew what happened, but you shall never know). Yes, after that there was another lunchtime concert which, although the turn out was pretty shoddy, the people that were there enjoyed it and everyone did really well. Including me. Yeh, I didn't screw it up with nerves. I found that staring some woman out in the back row helped. I imagined that I loved her and that I was serenading her with the song. Unfortunately once the concert had finished, I got so wound up with this notion that I accidentally went home with her and we made love.*
ESSAY is the next thing on my list. I didn't leave it to the last minute. YEH, check me out. However, I do think that I may not have done very well on it. I just have a bad feeling. Please prove me wrong.
Dan is feeling strangled. I know how he feels. Strangled. I'm not being metaphorical here, simply...imagine being strangled. Are you imagining it? That's how he feels. And I managed to understand him using my brain and empathy skills.
The thing that seems to be taking over my life at the moment is the Episode Drama. We are having meetings galore, and we get the impression it's all coming together beautifully, then we have a seminar with our tutor and she concurs, but points out one major flaw and we have to change it rather a lot. But hey, it's all a learning curve.
The last seminar was hilarious. We had a bit of a meeting beforehand then Karen came in for the seminar, and we forget to behave in a more appropriate manner. Grant forgot to stop cracking shit jokes and Emma forgot to stop shouting in her brawl. It was hilarious and Karen looked shocked and amused in equal measures.
I'm not really reflecting all that much, so I think I should bid you farewell til my mind is more focused and I'm not just babbling.
Sophie x
*this may or may not be true.
